August 09 Myths & Beliefs
Our beliefs are very important to us they encompass the standards by which we live, they explain why we act as we do, they can even define who we are.
We all have them and live by them but how often do we examine them and assess if they are an accurate interpretation of who we want to be and how we want to act.
Society's beliefs change over time, in the 50's a woman's place was in the home, how that has changed. There was considerable pain involved in changing this belief but the tide of change would not be denied and the face of society and the role of women changed forever. Women had to fight for their rights not only against men but also against women trapped in the old belief.
Such is the power of beliefs that even those disadvantaged by them still accept them as unchangeable and even believe it is undesirable or perhaps impossible to change them.
To live a truly conscious life we need to be aware of our beliefs, to know what is driving our actions. The incredible power of our beliefs comes from the fact that they interface with our emotions not our thoughts. We are emotional beings; often we find the thought of physical pain much more frightening than the actual pain.
But there is nothing wrong with being emotional. It is our emotions that give our life its richness and colour. Where our emotions get us into trouble is when we react to our interpretation of events rather than the reality of the event.
When we are exposed to an overwhelming event we create a story in our mind to explain WHY it has happened to us. Then over time we come to accept it as an accurate representation of what has actually happened. Then as more time passes we gradually broaden the scope of our story until it becomes an all encompassing myth.
A child routinely subjected to physical abuse struggles to understand why it is happening to them. The parent they love is hurting them, this does not make sense so they invent a story. Often the story is that the loving parent hurts them because they themselves are "BAD". It is easy to see how any globalising of this belief would impact adversely on their life.
In more subtle ways we all do this. In our efforts to make sense of our surroundings we invent stories to explain what is going on. There is nothing wrong with doing this in fact it is inevitable, we need to understand.
Where it becomes unsupportive is when we continue to accept beliefs long after their usefulness has passed. The abused child who thinks he is "BAD" has found a way to continue to love his parent, this is necessary for the child; he must have an outlet for his love. However 20 or 30 years later such a belief only serves to undermine his self esteem and the associated myth that his "badness" poisons his life, work and relationships can have an enormous negative influence on how he copes the life.
This is an extreme but not uncommon scenario. We all hang onto beliefs long after their use by date.
Here are some examples of myths and beliefs:
The world is dangerous
Strong feelings are bad
Mummy is perfect
If I am bad daddy will drink
All girls are untrustworthy
All boys are hurtful
If I express a need I will be disappointed
If I'm not always on my guard, someone will take advantage of me
Life is all about performance
My impulses are evil
There are many more, some supportive some not; it is useful to periodically examine our beliefs, to check if we still need them and the myths they spawn. Are there more positive, more supportive ways of explaining what is happening around us?
The answer to this question may change your life forever.